My heart skips a beat.
Now it's beating faster, arrhythmic.
I don't know if it's the emotion or the fact that I just forgot to breathe for a moment.
The famous words.
The words I'll never be able to tell are they're true or not. I believe so, thought everything tells me not to.
It's useless, it's indiferent, but I wanted to know.
Words I keep for later. When I'm waiting and have nothing, I'll have those words (words I don't know where they're from).
With these words and mine, forbidden, I feel fifteen again. It's all the same. Except I'll never be there again.
Never. The word that changed its meaning.
The one I believed in, took and cried about, and now I'll no longer accept.
Never were just a couple of years. Now when I fear never, I remember and have peace.
Never is a long time, it was too much time, but it hurt.
Now the future is open, altough it seems closed (like the never was, and it has opened) and I'm afraid, but then I dont. Whatever comes, be it, whatever don't, well, too bad.
Now I write so I won't talk. Because I shouldn't talk. I can (now I can, I thought I could never again) but I shouldn't.
I'm just left with my paper and my words. Te ones I'm not sure, the ones I want, the ones I shouldn´t, the ones that never, the ones that tomorrow. Only tomorrow.
Because now there will always be tomorrow.
Because now there is no never.
Never was a lie.
18.05.2011
